To My Dear and Loving Husband

Well hello there, husband.

I wonder if you think that I forgot about you?

I have not.

I love you.

Today is our fifth wedding anniversary. 

I am flooded with memories of our past,

our ups,

our downs.

All the while, we have held on tight to one another.

We have been granted a wealth of blessings, 

especially in the last year:

A lovely and wonderful baby girl - she is the two of us together;

A new house that we have made a home 

because of the love that whispers within its walls.

Thank you for always being by my side,

on my side.

Happy five years.

I love you.

One.

Watching my watch all day long,
I have repeatedly thought to myself:

This time last year I was getting ready to have Lucia; 

Soon I will be in labor, this time last year;

In just a few hours, this time last year, I will be giving birth.

I woke feeling so excited; like a child on her own birthday, except it is not my birthday, it is my daughter's. I have a daughter! She has been with me for twelve months. She is sleeping in her crib right now in the other room...
A daughter - my own daughter - in the very next room.

Today we woke up, had our breakfast, went to Mrs. Debbie's house, then I went to work; it was just like any other day, except today is the day of her birth.

When I called Matt this morning he said,
"This time last year we were at the hospital; I was scared." 

I remember feeling scared too; I remember feeling excited; I remember having the pre-labor shakes, right before it happened; I remember our family crowded around me in the labor and delivery room; I remember when they all went out in the hallway to wait, while I pushed; I remember Doctor Vaughan coming and the nurse telling her to hurry because it would only be a few more pushes; I remember hearing Lucia cry; I remember asking how much she weighed about one hundred times, they could not tell me fast enough; I remember the excitement in Matt's eyes; I remember him bringing her back to me after they cleaned her up; I remember feeling calm, much more calm than my usual self; I remember feeling happy, a happy so close to heaven that it makes me want to squeal with delight this very moment.

Right now,  this very moment last year, I was holding my baby for the first hours of her life. I was learning to breastfeed. My body ached, though I did not realize it yet because I was engulfed in a sea of adrenaline.

MVI_0711
Originally uploaded by The Gray Family 2009

To my daughter on her birthday,
For days I have been thinking of all of the things that I could write to you upon this occasion of your birth.
I have been going through a love list in my mind;
I have sifted through many posts to you - tokens of my love - trying to find my favorites,
only to find that I love them all;
I have discover that this year has been like one long love song,
you have made our life a love song;

I have thought of my favorite pictures of you;
my favorite moments with you.

My how I have pondered grand ideas about what to put down on paper or what to type at my keyboard;
I wanted extraordinary - but the truth is that nothing is more extraordinary than you.
There is nothing that I want to say more than  
I LOVE YOU and Happy Birthday. 

I wish you all the love and happiness in your life that you deserve.
I wish you joy.
 Your name, Lucia, is more appropriate than I ever knew.
Lucia - Light.
You, our darling baby, are our light - the light of our lives.
Thank you for bringing us so much happiness and making our world a better place to live. I love you with all of my heart.

One.

A brief d i a l o g u e

Me: " Lucia really loved that biscuit this morning."

Matt: "Ya, she seemed to like it."

Me: "She ate the whole thing!"
Matt: "She ate half of it and left the rest in my shoe."

F o r without the following ... what would be?

For a baby that is impending upon her first birthday.

Photographs.

For names that end in "a" - Lucia, Claudia, Stella and Lola.

For good days of teaching.
Little whispers.

Magazine clippings.

For my husband that has been home more often than usual.

For a dog curling up in bed beside me.

Dad.

For good books - my latest read, Speak.

For hot coffee in the morning.

Warm beds.

Sleepy heads.

An adrenaline rush.

Mom.

A good film.

A reading of Where the Wild Things Are.

Memories of books from my childhood.

Time for a good run.

Birthday party plans.
Dust.

Cake ordering.
Letters.

In-laws and grandmas.
Remembering the past.
Celebrating the present.
Grandpas too.

Gallons of whole milk.

Fresh bread.

Stamps and envelopes.

Prayers.
Learning.

Family.
Striving to be better.

Brothers - of flesh and blood and of law.
Sisters married to brothers.
Cousins bursting with love for L-belle.

Plane tickets.

Trips to the mountain mama.
Everyday.

For giving, not taking.

For l o v e.

On the Horizon: First Birthday Celebration

the bunting, the dress, the invite:

Eleven months, two weeks, one day

This is the story of a little girl.

She was born almost one year ago;

soon we will celebrate her first birthday.

This is the story of a little girl.

She used to only drink milk and make little kitty noises.

She now eats whole green beans, cheerios and orange slices.

This is the story of a little girl.

She used to have the gummiest of grins.

Now six little teeth light up her bright smile.

Six teeth!

This is the story of a little girl.

She used to only scream and fuss.

Now she points, tries to mutter words.

She giggles, she laughs.

In her own way she has perfected uh-oh, dog, da, ni-ni, ma-ma.

This is the story of a little girl.

She used to only suck her little toes,

then one day we woke up and she was waving,

sucking from a straw,

giving kisses and high-fives.

This is the story of a little girl.

She once just laid wherever she was left,

now she crawls faster than I can blink;

she is weeks (???) away from walking,

and then she will run.

This is a story of a little girl.

L o v e.

Blue Eyes.

Bright Smile.

Her daddy's j o y;

her mommy's h e a r t.